Your colleagues notice your ‘glow’ and your cyber absence makes family and friends wonder. My days have been filled with shopping and cooking for two, planning weekends and making it to the gym twice a week if lucky. Your agenda and thoughts are on one thing only, the other. So needless to say our first 5.5 day absence due to a trip has hit me…like a warm summer night in paradise. Okay maybe that comes out wrong. However, between revisiting my bucket list and doing all things I forgot to do the past 4 months, I have a realization. Sometimes you get a moment when you can stop and breath, you get a grip with reality and your dreams. Isn’t it amazing when you realize and feel this is exactly where you want to be in life? That is where I am now. Exactly where I want to be in life and exactly who I want to be with. Sometimes we need these moments to really realize that what you have now is not a dream.
There are many things at present that are clear to me, which is a nice mental ease. For example, there is a third wheel in my romantic life as big as a house…oh wait it is a house. I am lucky (sarcasm) to have met my other half whilst he is in the middle of trying to find a house to spend the next few years in. It is fun, I mean who doesn’t enjoy looking at houses? Or thinking how one day your IKEA visit will be a mission that cannot fail. However, so many houses later, the novelty is wearing off. How many houses must one see before you can open a bottle of champagne? Unrealistic sellers, houses with bad foundation, houses with out of date bathrooms a desire of at least 75m is the least of our worries. No, no, my role as girlfriend has turned into a dual role that now can add real estate agent to my resume. I have spent many hours now searching for options to present to my beloved. It has added a new dimension to the relationship. I am ready to scream and I have only been involved in the process for 4 months, I can only imagine what he is feeling have looked over a year. Our romantic dinners are joined by an invisible guest…a house. But do you know what? I wouldn’t have this any other way. Why? Because I am happy. Every house visit leads to a conversation about all things in life and the future. It is a nice feeling when you realize you are on the same page. Of course, we both would be happier if the magical house appeared sooner than later for him, but until then I will just enjoy the ride.
Between my daily check on housing sites and enjoying the Dutch summer which has finally come, yep another clarity. I have truly been living in a romantic fairytale that I completely forgot about my to do list for a 20 something who is now in the real world. Bank, driving lessons, more Dutch lessons, oh dear my documents pile was a mess too. How can one not realize her printer ink has been empty for 4 months? Or I am taking Albert Heijn bonus shopping to a new level since I buy for two (25 euro savings record!). I realized my list could no longer be ignored and my distraction was in another country. So bam bam bam and list is done. At some point you have to get things done and at some point you have to revisit your to do list. Clear one list and make a new one (there is always one aspect of life that needs something). So as I laid in the Dutch sun crossing off my list, I enjoyed the fact that the list was ignored because I have been having fun and enjoying life.
Sometimes you get a moment when you can stop and breath and see what is really going on, isn’t it nice when you like exactly where you are and what you are seeing? It isn’t a dream. You can breath easy, because nothing seems complicated. The most trivial things such as a colleague not bringing cake on their birthday (a Dutch no no) is the biggest crisis of the day. It isn’t that I have I ignored ‘me time’ for the past 4 months, as I still have those nights. However, this week has been an overload of ‘me time’ which has cleared my head and only reconfirmed what I have been feeling all along. I am quite certain, I am not the only one in this boat, everyone must have this mental paradise at some point, no? This is indeed exactly where I want to be. So yes, my long date with myself this weekend is a paradise, because my mind is completely at ease. Don’t get me wrong, because upon the return of my other half, my energy level of happiness will be like a bear out of hibernation!